My own lovely Bager

Although I have a bager  but it is not like this that

it will be finished when I can continue. It is just an

external bager that can be finished when I think it doesn't finish like...

Like every other things that it is out of my control. Some things are out of my control. They say it is a rule in this part of my life here on the earth.  I should accept it. Accepting of it means making larger paradise. It can be finished just at the moment u think it is continuing. I don’t know why but it is like this. Again I had made a small paradise for myself.

 I can turn off the music I don’t like but I can't turn off many other things. I must hear. I must hear. I must hear. I must hear. It even will be heard more loudly. Louder and louder.louder and louder. But it won't make u deaf. U must hear. U must hear. Hear and hear. Cant do anything. The music is too loud now. I don’t like to hear it.but it is. I made its notes. So I must hear.

They are the worst moments of life. Maybe it is near.  Maybe it is here and I am blind. Maybe I am not blind. I just like to be blind. I just don’t want to know something. But I must hear because I've made its notes.  

I should have a bager the same quality as my inner part. A lovely one that is just for my self. That will never leave me. That loves me the same as I love it. Exactly the same. A bager in my self that no one can takes me, a nice wind that always is in my whole body; for both bad and good parts. Something that loves bad parts the same as good one.i need this lovely one in myself Which I can control it. I just need its eyes, and its hands; a lovely bager in myself to see the external bagers. To see if they are still continuing their way, full its jar with the water they are swimming in. Some pure water to drink. This lovely one won't leave me. It should not make me horrible. It shouldn’t be dangerous for anyone.  It shouldn’t destroy anybody's peace. Anybody.

Anybody.

 It shouldn’t be a monster for others. I need my own bager a lovely one that won't leave me and continue always with me. Even when external bagers leave me can stand up and hear the peace of water. I want a big one that no one can destroy it, A big paradise that makes my inner big and strong like itself. in myself. Just for myself that no one see except myself.